fear keeps me here

I wonder a lot of the time why I am so scared to do anything different. Is it because I am getting older and more set in my ways? Some days, I want to go to Spain and law school and get away from my day to day grind of a job. Other days, however, I like my easy every day life. I am not really challenged at all, in any way. I mean sure, there are deadlines, there is a lot of work to do, but I don't really ever feel like there is anything all that new or intellectually stimulating going on at work.

I think that as soon as I leave work to go to law school, I will never look back and say, "oh no, what have I done", but it is hard to break out of my simple life. It is hard to think about selling my house and having to live in a small apartment again. It is hard to think about not having any money and not being able to run out to spend $100.00 on art or jeans or dinner if I want to. That makes me sound really spoiled, I realize.

I have decided that I am absolutely leaving work to go to law school starting in 2010. That means my law school application will be due in November or December of 2009. I know that is going to be upon me before I know it, and I will be scared all over again. I think that I will truly regret not going out and trying it, but I would never look back and regret taking the chance. I don't want to be riddled with regret on my death bed. I have to do it!