all signs point to Spain...

I just turned the TV on, and a show called "On The Road Again Spain" is on. It is so awesome. Just watching it makes me want to go there RIGHT NOW! Here is the website for the show:

http://www.spainontheroadagain.com/

wow...

My Christmas was absolutely amazing. There is just no other way to describe it. The people that I got to spend time with were amazing; relatives and friends alike. I had so much fun being with my family, eating cookies, drinking wine and giving and opening presents. I got everything I wanted, did everything I wanted to do and just had an absolutely perfect day.

fear keeps me here

I wonder a lot of the time why I am so scared to do anything different. Is it because I am getting older and more set in my ways? Some days, I want to go to Spain and law school and get away from my day to day grind of a job. Other days, however, I like my easy every day life. I am not really challenged at all, in any way. I mean sure, there are deadlines, there is a lot of work to do, but I don't really ever feel like there is anything all that new or intellectually stimulating going on at work.

I think that as soon as I leave work to go to law school, I will never look back and say, "oh no, what have I done", but it is hard to break out of my simple life. It is hard to think about selling my house and having to live in a small apartment again. It is hard to think about not having any money and not being able to run out to spend $100.00 on art or jeans or dinner if I want to. That makes me sound really spoiled, I realize.

I have decided that I am absolutely leaving work to go to law school starting in 2010. That means my law school application will be due in November or December of 2009. I know that is going to be upon me before I know it, and I will be scared all over again. I think that I will truly regret not going out and trying it, but I would never look back and regret taking the chance. I don't want to be riddled with regret on my death bed. I have to do it!

at the risk of sounding like an angst ridden teen...

My mom will just never be satisfied with what I do with my life. I think that tonight when I told her I was planning to take a leave of absence from work in order to go study abroad in Spain to finish up my B.A. in Spanish (which is her native language, which I am studying to learn more about my heritage and which I have a straight 4.0 in - yes 4.0 in my entire degree - yes - every class) she must not have heard me right. I don't know - she reacted almost as badly as she did when I told her I was gay 13 years ago. She acted like I am crazy, and told me that I really need to think this out more. Then she said that we could talk more about this later, as if she really has a say about what I do with my life. I AM 31 DAMMIT! I have been in my own career for eight years now, and I make my own money. I own my own home, I don't go to my parents for money or sustenance or for anything really, other than support and love, and sometimes I just really don't think that they get that.

I just feel so frustrated and so unsupported right now.

it just struck me

Isn't it strange how sometimes, one simple line or a two sentence conversation between a couple of characters on a tv show just hits you? It just makes you think of your own life at the time, or can even evoke events from the past. A sentence or two can bring back memories or feelings before you even know what is happening.

more on prop 8

I was happily surprised and touched when I saw this:

Prop 8, the big debate

I was reading CNN's Ireports about gay marriage and prop 8, and here are a couple that I found interesting:

I liked what this guy had to say:

"As a veteran, I find this issue disconcerting. To those who oppose same-sex marriages based upon religious beliefs, I must point out the 1st Amendment: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion..." This means that no law based upon religious morals should ever be allowed to the ballots. If you disagree, then by all means, find a witch and burn her at the stake and pick a religion and deport everyone who does not share your faith. Furthermore, lets make it a requirement to purchase a license to attend church. If the state refuses based upon some frivolous reason, the blame falls on you!

To those who have other reasons to oppose same-sex marriages I must point out the 14th Amendment:[ Paraphrased] "No state shall make or enforce any law which abridges the rights of a citizen of the united states or deprive the citizen of life, liberty, without due process of the law nor deny any person EQUAL protection of the law."

If you disagree, why stop at same-sex marriages? Let's outlaw interracial marriages as well! Let's outlaw single couples living togother and make marriage mandatory.

I'm sorry, but as an American vet involved in a loving interracial marriage (as if it matters to any of you) I find this infringement on civil rights disgusting. Thomas Jefferson said it best, in "Letters from Virginia", It makes no difference if my neighbor claims there is one god or twenty gods , it neither picks my pocket nor does it break my legs.

Keep this up America and one day you will find YOUR civil rights eradicated. When that happens, don't call on me because I did my time in hopes of making our country a better one and you, in turn, decided to spit on the grave of every veteran who laid down his/her life in the name of freedom and democracy."

This guy on the other hand...what on earth?

A winters day
In a deep and dark december;
I am alone,
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.
I am a rock,
I am an island.
Ive built walls,
A fortress deep and mighty,
That none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.
Its laughter and its loving I disdain.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

Dont talk of love,
But Ive heard the words before;
Its sleeping in my memory.
I wont disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.
If I never loved I never would have cried.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

I have my books
And my poetry to protect me;
I am shielded in my armor,
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
I touch no one and no one touches me.

I am a rock,
I am an island.

And a rock feels no pain;
And an island never cries.

-Simon and Garfunkle

who knows

I truly believe that in general, people don't know what they want. They walk around confused and worried and not knowing how to do that new thing they want to do.

And when I say people, I mean me.

I had one of the best weekends this weekend. I really enjoyed the time I was able to spend with friends. I think that it is rare for me that I actually relax and live in the moment and enjoy the time I am having and am not really thinking about anything else.

I sometimes think though, that just when you let yourself go and really get into the moment, that is when you are the most vulnerable. When I say vulnerable, I mean that you could just get lost in feelings instead of being mentally aware of what is going on, and being able to guard against any type of heartache. I sometimes think it is crazy to think that way; to always be on guard and worrying about your heart and feelings, but at the same time, I like to live my life that way and make sure I am not setting myself up for failure. However, I have really been trying to loosen up on those feelings. I have been trying to live more in the moment and give in to feelings instead of thinking everything out so much. It is difficult to let go of reason sometimes though...

You'll get your money
I'll get my friends
Hard living's forgiven
In the end

You got your troubles
I got mine
On a clear day I can
Read your mind

Oh it's like a battlefield inside

You got to
Give a little love
To get a little love
Give a little love

I know you better
Than you want me to
Inside your pockets
And walking in your shoes

Oh it can get better if you try

You got to
Give a little love
To get a little love
Give a little love

I keep you close
In my wildest dreams
My rear-view mirror
And you're waving to me
Our last goodbye

You got to
Give a little love
To get a little love
Give a little love

I hope you
Give a little love
To get a little love
Give a little love

- Rilo Kiley

So, as funerals go, my friend's mom's was great. That doesn't quite seem right to say, but what I mean is that when I die, I hope my funeral is as special as hers was.

Her children and even her ex husband spoke beautifully about her and really eulogized her well. There was a video of pictures of her and the words of her life story accompanied by her niece playing the piano. Then, at least 10 people, probably more like 15 came up to share personal interactions they had with her that left a lasting impression; students, friends, relatives... It was just absolutely awesome. Again, I know awesome and funeral don't go together, but really I don't have a better way to describe it. To say it was nice would be an understatement.

I have also decided that I absolutely want to be cremated. I don't people's last memory of me to be me lying in a coffin looking dead. That is creepy. I want people to remember me through photos and stories, just like was done this weekend.

at least it is a nice day

I am going to my best friend's mom's funeral today. She was only 61 when she died. I am not sure how it will go, but really I am just wishing the best possible day for my friend...

the weather was perfect for thinking

Today I realized that some of the best times I have are when I am by myself. Then I tried to figure out if that is awesome or a little bit sad. The jury is still out, but preliminary indications are that it is awesome.

I also started thinking about how it is somewhat strange that the people you care about most are the same people that infuriate you the most. How can you fix that? I am still working on the solution to that one.

Right now I am reading a book about how to write a personal statement that "will get you into law school". Really, I think my life is boring and my essay is sub-par, but maybe it is just because I know me, and I know what my life is about. Maybe the admissions folks will think I am interesting enough to let me in to their school. Yet again, only time will tell. One day soon, I will stop having to say that.

tomorrow

Well, it is here. I almost wrote finally here, but that wouldn't make much sense because it seems like this day has come much faster than I thought it would. I am about to take the LSAT tomorrow. I am sure I will do fine. At least I know I will do well enough to get into some school. The question is, will I get in to U of M? Only time will tell. Three weeks after I take the test, I will know my score, and have a better feel for my options. I am trying not to think much about that, I am trying just to concentrate on taking the test and doing my best.

I am also trying to concentrate on not picking up any of my books to study today. I have become slightly obsessed with studying for this test over the past couple of months, and it is hard not to feel like I should keep on studying. I know it will not help for me to study more today, in fact it will probably overwhelm my brain, but the books are sitting right here....

I did plan to do a little bit of review - for an hour only. Then I am going to have a nice relaxing day - get a pedicure, see a movie, go to the YMCA, etc.

I can't wait to put away all of these books that are cluttering my house from studying. Oh, and I also can't wait to not have to study all of the time. Well - at least I get a break until I start law school.

what are the chances

It seems like every time I want to study there are strange noises everywhere. For example, today I got home and one of the kids across the street was sitting on her porch playing the flute. Who does that? Seriously, I don't think I have ever heard someone play the flute so loudly!

feeling frustrated

I am wondering why I have been studying so darn hard for the bad scores I keep getting on my prep tests. I feel like I have put in so much time but it doesn't really feel like it is paying off... I know I can't get discouraged and I just have to keep trying, but I am frustrated today.

logic games

Ok, so someone told me that I shouldn't call the analytical reasoning section of the LSAT logic "games" because that makes it sound like something that kids in kindergarten could do. I don't think that is true though. First of all, everyone calls them logic games. Second of all, I think some of them are kind of fun, actually. I know, I am sick and twisted, but honestly, if I think of them as super difficult logic questions that were made to purposely boggle my mind, they will be harder. I honestly need to turn them into games because it makes them seem much more fun, and a little bit easier.

so close

I almost did it. I almost got the score I wanted tonight, but instead got a 155. Argh! At least I didn't get lower than that I suppose. I still have a lot of work left to do to get the score I want.

eggs always make me feel better

It is amazing how much food comforts me. I already feel better this morning than I did last night about the LSAT. Eating a good breakfast of egg whites with some jalepenos scrambled in and a side of Greek yogurt with chopped fresh figs and organic granola is somehow boosting my confidence. I suppose that little extra something could be attributed to the great music I have been listening to this morning - Ra Ra Riot, The Stills, The Eels, Ben Lee, Imogene Heap, The Weepies, The Fray, The Shins, Arcade Fire, Bloc Party and The Black Kids. Or, it could be related to the fact that I have not cracked open an LSAT book yet today. I think that is probably the case. Or, maybe it is a combination of all of the above.

I have my second official practice test in LSAT prep class tonight. I really want to get higher than a 155. Speaking of practice tests, my dad was asking me yesterday about what I was going to do if my practice tests don't start improving. He asked if I would postpone the test and keep studying. I feel a little bad, but I laughed out loud at him. I don't know, I just don't see that happening for a few reasons. First of all, by the time test day rolls around, I will have been studying for 2 months, including taking a prep class and if I am not prepared to take the test by then, I am not sure that I ever will be. Also, I think there is such a thing as over studying. Plus, I don't think I could focus for another two months on this material. I think that if I get a 155 on the real LSAT I will be pretty sad, because I will not be able to attend my dream school U of M, but at the same time, I know there will be plenty of other schools that will accept me, so it will not be the end of the world.

In other news, there was a bat murder committed by me last night. I do feel bad killing such neat little creatures, but they should really stay out of my house. I have tried releasing them into the wild, but they just come back. Ok, true I don't have any real proof that the same bats actually come back, but it is just too coincidental that the same day I release one, there is another one in my house right away. I make it sound like I have hundreds of bats in my house. Really there have been several over the last 3.5 years, but I would say the total is under 20. That still is kind of a lot, but it was bad when I first moved in because this house had been vacant for a while, so after I got the initial problem taken care of, it has been a lot better. Now I probably only have one every 4 or 5 months. Anyway, I am pretty much a professional bat killer now. In fact, I have even had friends call me for my assistance when they have had bats in their houses.

Anyway last night I fell asleep reading in bed, and I woke up with the lights still on (thank goodness) and for some reason, my eyes went right to the wall where there was a bat hanging upside down. Immediately my heart started racing, because even though I have dealt with this situation many a time, bats still freak me out. Plus, I had to prepare the area around the bat to deal with the situation before it decided to start flying around. They are much harder to deal with when flying than when they are hanging. When I say I had to prepare the area, I mean that it was hanging right above the desk in my room which I had picture frames on. I was planning to hit it with a broom, and usually when you do that, they fall straight down. I did not want it to fall on the desk, because number one, that would be gross and number two he could have still started flying again as opposed to him being on the floor where he would be pretty much grounded. So, I moved everything out of the way and knocked him down and killed him. Poor guy. I almost wanted to cry a little when I saw his lifeless body lying there.

Anyway, now that my breakfast is finished, I must go and review for my test tonight.

not getting much better

In general, I try not to have a negative attitude ...but I am starting to severely doubt that I am going to get into U of M. The practice tests that I have been taking are not promising. I can't get above a 155. It is really getting me down, but I am trying to keep a positive attitude. I guess I still have a month left to study, so I am trying to keep that in mind...

more proof of the craziness

Referring to a question in a quiz we were taking, my LSAT prep instructor said last night, "If any of you get this one wrong, you should beat yourselves over the head with a rubber fish".

First of all, who has a rubber fish?

Second of all...nope, there really is no second of all for that.

best weekend ever

I had such a good time this weekend. The beach was absolutely amazing...the weather was perfect and I had some of my closest friends with me to enjoy the day with. Laying out in the sun, playing in the water like kids, drinking Bloody Marys and Red Stripe beer....it couldn't have gotten much better.

I wish more days could be spent that way, however I suppose that then they wouldn't be enjoyed as much.

my day off

I am so excited because I am about to leave my house to go to the beach! I took the day off specifically for that purpose.

In the back of my mind, I feel sort of guilty because all of my LSAT test prep books are sitting right next to me as I type this, and I feel like I should be studying rather than going to the beach. I guess I have to remember that I have taken about eight other days off in order to study in the future, so I should probably be ok.

Yesterday was a great day because I went golfing with a good friend. We played 18 holes, and it just seemed to fly by. It was so nice to see her; I haven't been able to spend any time with her since she moved a few months ago and it is always good to reconnect with someone.

Well, the beach and some friends await....

smart people are so weird....

Yes, that means I am weird, I realize. :)

The attorney who teaches my LSAT prep class is extremely intelligent, but he is a little bit um, eclectic is the best way to say it I guess.

Yesterday as we were working on practice questions, he was reading the newspaper. I know what you are thinking; "How is that weird?". Well, that is not weird, but while the room was completely silent and everyone was trying to concentrate he started sporadically ripping up the ads that accompanied the paper. At first I thought that maybe he was doing it to purposely try to distract us, so when we actually have to take the test, stray noises won't bother us. After the eight minutes he gave us to complete the set of questions we were working on expired, he explained himself. He said "In case you are wondering why I am ripping up papers, people ask me that in all of the classes that I teach, it is because I like doing it. It feels good to rip up papers, it relieves stress." Then he walked to the garbage can and threw away all of the ripped up papers. Does anyone think that is normal? I mean, I can understand where he is coming from, but why would he do it in front of class?

To top it off, he came in wearing a baggy pair of red soccer shorts and a Nike polo shirt, and sort of looked like he just rolled out of bed. Not that you have to be well dressed to teach a class, but it does make an impression.

Anyway, even though he is a little bit odd and maybe even a little bit obsessive compulsive, it is easy to see that he truly cares about us doing well on the test. He has stayed at least 30 minutes past the end of class every day to give us additional information that he feels is valuable. He also teaches the material exceptionally well, and knows it inside and out, so I suppose that is really what matters.

and it begins...

So yesterday was the first day of my LSAT prep class. Almost everyone thinks that I am absolutely insane for driving to Ann Arbor to take this class. I am not going to lie - it is a long drive, however I did not like any of the companies that offered classes here in Grand Rapids, so this is what I get.

The class seems like it will be good because the attorney who is teaching it seems smart and funny. I can't really tell for sure yet, since yesterday we spent three and a half hours taking our first practice LSAT. I did not do very well at all. I bubbled in E for 28 questions because I didn't get to them. I obviously really have to work on time. I got a 149. YIKES! I need some major work! I am not all that worried though, because I have confidence in this class, and I have confidence in myself. Plus, before when I studied for about a week on my own, I was managing to get in the 150s. I think I will be ok...let's hope! I am going to keep a positive attitude because I honestly believe that is half the battle.

Not to make excuses for my poor score, but the room where my prep class is held is right near the kitchen in the hotel, and they were banging things around - I am guessing doing dishes. To top it off, there was music playing in the kitchen, and it was all 80's, so I knew almost every song. It was rather difficult to keep my mind from wandering off into the lyrics of "When I See You Smile" or "Paradise City". I am certain that when I really take the LSAT, Guns and Roses will be strictly prohibited.

I did it!

The triathlon is finished. I feel like I did a great job. No, I did not win anything, however I felt really good, and I beat my goal of keeping my time under 1:50.

My final time was 1:29:33. I was so excited. The swim was not nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be, in fact it was probably the easiest part, since I wasn't really trying that hard to push myself. I was so worked up and nervous for the swim that by the time I calmed down and felt like I was actually swimming correctly I only had about 100 meters left. The whole swim went by a lot faster than I thought it would.

I felt like I pushed hard in the bike, but looking back, I probably could have pushed a little harder. I ended up only going 19mph for the average. I felt pretty good during the bike until about 12.5 miles, then I started losing steam. I will have to remember that for next time, and make sure I train a little harder.

The run was the hardest part, but I ran a pretty good 5k time considering that I was already tired from the other legs - 28:28 or something like that.

My transitions were pretty good, the first one was just over 2 minutes, and the second one was just under two minutes.

It was such a great experience, I feel excited to do another one one day.

who knew...

I set out this morning to do a trial run of my triathlon. I wanted to see what it would feel like - minus the proper transitions since I wouldn't be able to set up my station. I haven't had the chance yet to swim in my tri shorts and shirt and then jump right on my bike while I am still wet, or run right after biking.

So, I left my house and noticed there was quite a wind. I knew that would be somewhat bothersome, but aside from that the day seemed perfect. I got to the park and threw on my swim cap and goggles and jumped in the water. Believe it or not, the water was so rough from the wind it could have been mistaken for the ocean! Who knew that there could be such a current and so many waves in a little gravel pit lake! I think I probably swallowed close to a gallon of lake water, and got water up my nose several times. Those two things are my least favorite part of swimming, and they both happened a lot today. I suppose it was good to train in the water when it was choppy like that since it is possible that with everyone swimming around me on race day it will just as bad, if not worse.

Anyway, I made it through the swim in 20 minutes and ran out of the water back to the bench where I had left my items. I started to feel a little nauseous because of all of the water I swallowed - I wasn't exaggerating about how much I swallowed! So, since I had to keep everything but my towel and flip flops in my car (so no one would steal it) I rinsed my feet off, then ran to my car - about 1000 feet away. Then I put on all of my cycling stuff, and jumped on my bike. The bike went fine - I didn't really have a planned route, so I ended up shorting the bike portion by a mile, but I figured for my first test run, 13.8 miles was fine.

I did start to get tired by mile 10, so I will have to work on my biking a little more than I had originally thought. I got back to my car again and checked the time and noted that the bike took me an hour and 4 minutes. I took off my helmet and gloves, took my tire off so I could lock my bike back into my roof rack, changed my shoes and started out to run the 5K.

My quads and gluts were already burning from the bike, and as I ran, they started to hurt even more. The first mile was pretty rough, but then I started to loosen up a little bit and the last 2 felt better. I am not going to lie, it didn't feel good and I felt pretty tired. I will really have to work on biking, then running right away. It was harder than I thought it was going to be.

All in all, I felt pretty good with my performance. I finished all three disciplines in an hour and 58 minutes, even with my ridiculously long transitions. I am hoping that for race day I can keep it under an hour and 50 minutes. I would be happy with that.

I am looking forward to the next time that I get to do a trial run of the triathlon. Hopefully I can improve my time. I also plan to take a few hours to just to practice the transitions, so that will hopefully help me to streamline them on race day. It is getting so close - only 26 days until race day!! At least I know I can do it.

it's just never enough

Today I thought I was running pretty fast. I actually felt fast - not like I was pushing hard and my slow pace was too fast for me, like I was really going fast and it actually felt good. Anyway, as I ran along thinking this to myself, some guy who didn't even look like a runner went flying past me like I was just standing still. Sometimes it drives me crazy to think that I will probably never win a race no matter how hard I work. At the same time though, I keep getting better than I have been in the past, so that is always encouraging.

it's getting a little old

The people across the street from me keep setting off M-80s - one or two every 10 minutes or so. My poor cats are petrified and sought refuge in the closet. I am not going to lie, I am getting pretty irritated and wish they would stop. Lovely...there goes another one...and another.

one sick kitty

Yesterday I was about to head to work and I noticed that my cat Paco was sitting in the same place that he had been pretty much all day. That is not normal for him at all. I started to pet him, and suddenly noticed that one of his back feet was about 3 times its usual size. I had no idea what was wrong, but I instantly felt terrible for the little guy. It makes me so sad when animals are injured in any way. I think it is because they can't speak up and tell you what is wrong, or how much it hurts. I started to panic, calling everyone I could think of that could come and sit with him while I was at work. I could not get a hold of anyone, and I had to go to work, so I left him by himself. I felt terrible all night while I was at work. I kept wondering if he had fallen somehow and broken his little foot, or if he had been bitten by something, or what had happened. I of course kept thinking the worst, and imagining that he was going to be dead when I got home. (Yes, I know I am ridiculous!)

One of my friends called me back around 11 pm and told me she could go check in on him in. That made me feel so much better. She went to my house and found him and said that he was doing really well - running around and chasing my other cat. She told me that he let her look at his paw and it looks like one of his nails is infected in some way.

Anyway, I got home from work at around 2am, and took him in to the 24 Hour Animal Hospital. Um...yea, they might as well call it the "We Will Take All of Your Money" Animal Hospital. I mean, it was going to cost $170.00 just for the vet to look at him, and any procedures performed or medications given would be an additional charge. Even though I knew these outrageous prices, I just couldn't deal with letting Paco suffer on with his club foot.

When we arrived, the waiting room was packed. There happened to be a lot of pet emergencies last night and that meant a 2 hour wait. Paco was not happy sitting in the waiting room in a cage, and he was letting everyone know how he felt with loud and pathetic meows.

I asked the employee who checked me in if I could leave and come back when they weren't as busy and she told me that I could. She told me that she would take a quick look at the paw to see if it merited our return later. She took us to a room and looked at his paw, and said that there was certainly something wrong with it, but she didn't see any puncture wounds or anything that would really justify me spending the $170. She said that she thinks it can wait until Monday. She did tell me to wash his paw and try to ice it. I felt so much better, and took a tired and happy Paco back home to rest.

So, has anyone ever tried to ice a cat's paw? I don't really recommend it.

Hopefully Paco will be fine all day today and I can get him in to the vet tomorrow morning.

not half bad

So, swimming in the lake wasn't nearly as bad as I had thought it was going to be. I did swim mostly breast stroke, as I always do, but I felt almost good. The water was pretty clean and a decent temperature, and the swimming area at Millennium Park is quite large allowing a better training swim than the pool at the YMCA. There were no walls for me to hang on if I got tired, so that was good. I think that I probably swam 1/2 mile all in all. I am going to go again tomorrow. Then I plan to go to the Y to try the pool again on Monday. I really need to keep working on my front crawl because no matter what I do, I always feel completely out of breath when I try to swim front crawl instead of breast stroke.

the olympic superstars

Ok, so I was starting to think that I was a pretty decent runner, biker and swimmer (ok, I am still working on the swimming), and then I started watching the Olympic Trials. OH MY GOSH! Where do they grow these awesome people??

I have of course watched the Olympics before and noticed how great the athletes are, but for some reason it just really struck me the other day. Maybe it is because I watched a woman swim a 300 meter medley in 4:31, and I know that it takes me close to 20 minutes to swim 500 meters. Maybe watching a bunch of women run 5,000 meters (3.11 miles) in 15 minutes when I know it takes me about 30 minutes was what did it. Yes, I feel a little bit wimpy now. I am just in total awe of these people; they are absolutely amazing.

That being said, I am off to try to swim in the lake...

extreme biking

Ok, not really all that extreme...I wasn't biking down a cliff or across a glacier or anything amazing like that. No, I was just in Grand Rapids, but there were severe storms here a couple of days ago, and I don't think that there is anyone in charge of cleaning up random bike trails because they are still littered with debris. There were several times when I had to get off my bike and carry it as I navigated carefully over entire trees that had fallen into the path. The area where I was biking was actually a road with one lane for vehicular traffic and the other lane only for bikers. The trees that had fallen were huge and blocked the entire road. Anyway, that was the first time I had ever been on that trail, and I was bummed because I had to turn back at a certain point due to the amount of debris and fallen trees. It just wasn't safe anymore.

Due to the fact that I could not ride on the path I had originally started on, I ended up finding a little feeder path jutting out from my original path. I had no idea where it led, but decided to check it out. It ended up being relatively short and dead ended at a road. I was about to turn around and go back the way I came, but then I noticed an entry to another little pathway across the street. It was beautiful along this path - there was a lake to my left and some really interesting landscaping. I thought that I must be in some kind of park. I biked a little further, and saw an entrance for vehicles so I checked to see if there was a sign. There was indeed a sign and I saw that I was in Millennium Park. I have never been to this park, however keep telling myself that I need to check it out, especially since that is where the triathlon that I will be participating in will be taking place. What a crazy coincidence that I stumbled upon it.

I was able to look at the lake and the beach, and it looks really clean and like it will be an excellent place for a triathlon. I am excited because I talked to an employee there and they said that people do go there to swim laps. I am going to try to swim there a couple of times before my tri.

is it really that hard?

Apparently it is much harder than I had realized to flush the toilet. I say this because everywhere I go lately, I am struck with the misfortune of walking into at least one stall in the public restroom with an unflushed toilet. To top it off, I think that the nastiness of the contents in the toilet must be directly related to the person's inability to flush it. Ugh.

going through the garbage

On my way home today I saw a guy in a wheelchair digging through the garbages at a gas station to find cans/bottles. It made me sad to see him doing that, and at the same time made me take stock of my life and remember again just how wonderful things are. I am so lucky, and I am so thankful for all that I have.

not quite a fish out of water, but close

So my triathlon training is in full swing...

Today I biked the 4.56 mile round trip to the YMCA and swam 16 laps, which is a little over the distance I will have to swim for my sprint tri. I have to swim 1/3 of a mile, which is better than I had originally thought. I thought I was going to have to swim 1/2 mile. Both are doable, but it puts my mind at ease to know that it is less distance than I had originally thought.

The swim went alright today. It is only the second time I have been in the pool - so I suppose I can't get discouraged. I don't feel like I am going to drown, so that is good news. I do feel pretty breathless when I swim front crawl as opposed to breaststroke. Today I swam 6 lengths of front crawl, but couldn't string two lengths together to swim a lap of it - I kept having to revert to breaststroke. I am sure that it will come eventually. It is really hard to not be good at something, especially when everyone in the pool around you is swimming like they were born in the water, and 80 year olds are passing you like you aren't moving at all.

On a different note unrelated to the triathlon, I shot a 47 golfing yesterday. I was super excited, and am going to splurge and buy myself some golf shoes now. According to one of the people I golf with, the sole addition of golf shoes will cut at least another 5 strokes off my game immediately. I am starting to think she is an undercover saleswoman for golf shoes...

no known reason for existence

Why oh why do people have loud mufflers on their cars? I do not understand this obsession. How is that cool?

here goes nothing

I have decided to try a triathlon. I am super worried about the swim...but I guess I will just suffer through it. A friend at work asked if I wanted to take part in this triathlon with her, so I thought it would be a good idea, especially since I really want to lose a few pounds.

I just went and rejoined the YMCA so I can do a little bit of swimming in the next couple of months before race day - August 9. I am pretty excited about it, however, am extremely nervous because I worry that I will choke in the swim.

More to come about my training...

asparagus for breakfast is mighty fine

I had the best breakfast sandwich from Dahlia Bakery yesterday morning. I walked a mile – well two miles round trip to get it, but it was more than worth it. Plus, maybe I burned off a quarter of the calories in my trek to get it. The sandwich was on an English muffin, grilled so there were char marks on it, with grilled asparagus, a fried egg, and some kind of awesome gooey, salty sharp white cheddar cheese. It was piping hot, the asparagus was perfectly crisp tender and the egg was to die for – perfectly cooked, probably in butter, with crispy edges. YUM. Can’t wait til the next time I go to Seattle!

plane courtesy

Don't get me wrong...I love kids just as much as the next person, but there was a lady on my flight to Seattle who had a small child and felt that it was ok to lay him down on the seats next to me, and ignore him kicking me. I paid for my seat too, and I don't feel like I deserved that. The crying and whining for over four hours was bad enough, but the solid kicks in the thigh were what really put the flight over top as far as unpleasant goes.

right now she controls the world...

Today as I was operating the traffic light for the West MI Whitecaps, a father with his two young sons (I am guessing they were 3 and 5), walked by and said the above (my subject line). I think it got me thinking about how differently people perceive the police. Maybe it was him saying that, or maybe it was the car full of teen boys that drove by me making noises like they were having orgasms. Or maybe it was the combination of the two.

Other people were honking and making gestures in my direction as they passed me; I am guessing they thought I made them wait too long at the light. I don't think that people understand that when a police officer is manually operating a traffic light, they can't just press a button to make the light change from red to green immediately. There is actually a cycle that the press of the button initiates, usually ranging from 7 - 20 seconds in length. I mean, really, how could we just switch it immediately? There would be crashes every time the light changed.

In other news, I shot a 52 today on the golf course. Hopefully I can just keep taking shots off my score!

Also, I am getting excited for my jaunt to Seattle with my sister next weekend. I actually leave on Thursday, and I am sure it will be here before I know it.

a decent score

Well, I had a 53 today out on the golf course...yes for 9 holes. It was pretty good for me. I know it is nothing to write home about, but I was halfway excited.

Other than that, this week has been fine, aside from yesterday when I went to the doctor and found out that I have gained 7 pounds since the last time I was there (six months ago). TOTALLY unacceptable!!! I must start losing that ASAP. Just another sign that I am getting older and older - rapid weight gain. Or maybe the age thing is just an excuse that I am using to cover up for the fact that I am getting lazier and lazier. Regardless, I must get to work on getting a toned summer body soon since summer is fast approaching!

the start of a new season..

Well, I was pretty hopeful for my golf league this year because my last couple of times out, I managed to get a a couple pars and a birdie. Well, today, the first day of my league, I got one par, a bunch of bogies and double bogies, and worse... Yikes! I wish I could just work on my nerves, because really, that is what my biggest problem is. I psych myself out all of the time, thinking people are watching me, and expecting me to hit a good shot. Good thing I am not a pro - clearly I would buckle under pressure!! It is so weird, because regardless of how terribly I do each week at the golf course, I still love it the game of golf! I find the challenge so exciting! Can't wait 'til next week!

maybe one day i will be better

I love golfing even though I am not very good at it. I find it challenging and relaxing and entertaining all at the same time. I wish I could be better. Maybe one day I will take a lesson.

Since my golf "league" (really just a group of 8 ladies that all go out and golf together) starts this Thursday, I decided to get ready today. I got a brand new putter! I can't wait to test it out. It was only $50 (marked down from $70), so it isn't like it is anything super special, but my old putter looked like I stole it from a putt putt golf center, so it is certainly an improvement to me. I also bought a new golf bag, so I am very excited about that. Anyway, aside from purchasing new items, I decided to clean all of my clubs and balls so I will be ready to go on Thursday. Yes, my life is exciting!!

my favorite time of day

When it is later in the evening, just before the sun starts to take it's final descent, when it starts to feel like it is perfect weather to sit down on your deck and read the paper, because it is quiet and serene and the perfect temperature, that is my favorite time of day. It is so perfectly beautiful, it makes my whole body feel happy.

cinco de mustache

I had one of those days today where every single little thing seemed to go wrong. You know, the day that you put on your favorite shirt, then spill lotion all over it, so you can't wear it anymore. The day that you leave your house to go out for dinner, only to realize when you are halfway to your destination that you have managed to forget your id and your credit card because they were in a different pants pocket. One of THOSE days....

Anyway, I got to the restaurant where we were eating, and found out that they were having a celebration for cinco de mayo, where if you were wearing a mustache, you got 25% off of your appetizer. The waitress (with a mustache, goatee, and super bushy eyebrows - all fake) promptly brought us stick on mustaches, which we applied immediately....who wouldn't want 25% off???!!!

It was hilarious! The mustache instantly made the annoying moments of my day fade away. I can't remember the last time I laughed so much! A table full of four girls with mustaches on is certainly a crazy sight to see!!!

bad dream

I had a dream last night that I was taking the LSAT and there were some weird pot smoking dudes next to me sporting long dreadlocks, wearing faded black jeans and black rock band t-shirts, and smelling of patchouli. They were talking through the entire test. To top it off, there were questions about bands on it, and not bands that I had ever heard of. The questions were about weird metal bands that - you guessed it - that the rocker dudes had certainly heard of. And...the questions were all numbered out of order, so I kept bubbling in the wrong answers. Nothing like a little test taking anxiety...fives months before the test!

just to clarify

After rereading my post about dove hunting, I am guessing some people don't know what that is all about, and might think that I am a crazy person - literally comparing cats to people.

In 2006, there was a vote to determine whether Michigan should allow dove hunting. The proposal to make doves "game" was voted down. How do I know this? Don't worry, I don't sit around checking up on the hunting legislation in Michigan or anything like that; I don't even hunt. But, let me tell you, it was a big deal around here (west Michigan). Many of the guys that I worked with talked about it incessantly.

I am glad the proposal didn't become law and the doves remained safe. I just don't understand why there need to be so many animals that can be hunted.

Hopefully that clears up any confusion about that bumper sticker.

fabulous purchase

I am the proud new owner of an iron. Yes, I am 30 and have never owned one. How is that possible you ask? I think that I have lost a couple in break ups, and then I just never felt like buying one.

This has made me slightly OCD about my laundry. I usually remove each piece of clothing one by one (especially pants) while the dryer is still running, just to be sure that there is no chance of a wrinkle forming. Now that I have an iron, I guess that means I can be slightly less crazy and take my clothes out of the dryer after the dryer has stopped.

"my neighbor's cat hunts doves, but i can't"

Yea...I saw saw a bumper sticker that said that today. Yes, humans are comparable to cats. West Michigan mentality drives me crazy!

and i forgot to mention

I took my first practice LSAT yesterday. Now, keep in mind that I have not really studied yet - I would say that I have looked over a few logic games - and that took probably a total of 4 hrs. Anyway, I finished each section in the appropriate amount of time - 35 minutes, except for logic games, which I gave myself an hour to complete. I must admit, there were some questions that I didn't even try to get right, because I just didn't know what they were talking about (let's hope that some studying will remedy that). Anyway, I ended up with a 153. I was sort of bummed, however at least I know what I am working with, and I feel like I could up that to at least a 160 relatively easily. I guess I will just have to see...

it makes me feel old to say this but....

...seriously, people should really be more careful when they are driving on residential streets. See, I am old...but I warned you. I was running around my neighborhood, aka the ghetto (which is the thing that probably nullifies my complaint), and I was almost hit by a crazy person driving around like a maniac - squealing their tires, and swerving from one side of the road to another. What is wrong with people???

On a different, but somewhat related note, jalepenos and running do not mix. No, I was not munching on a jalepeno while I ran, but I had some on top of my eggs this morning and it was a mistake. Can you remember the first time you tried a cigarette? Recall that burning sensation in your throat....ok...got it? That is what my innards in general felt like. Ugh jalepenos.

At least the two miles that I ran today felt better than the last two times I ran. I still feel pretty out of shape, and bummed that I can only run 2 miles before I feel like I am nearing death, but at least I am trying to get back into it. All I am saying is that I used to be able to go out and run 8 miles like it was nothing. WOW - it is amazing how fast your body gets out of that. Ok, that was 3 years ago, and I was training for a half marathon, but still!

Also related....my play list for my run today was great! I didn't really create it specifically, it was just what popped up randomly on my ipod:

Whenever, Wherever - Shakira
Umbrella - Rhianna
Where Have You Been - Reel Big Fish
Psycho Killer - Talking Heads
Poem - Taproot

So, I just added up the total time of all of those songs, and it took me almost 22 minutes to run just over 2 miles. That is SAD! I am going to take a shower and cry a little.

for some reason

I was looking at myself in the mirror the other day and I thought to myself..."huh, I really am 30". Even though I have been 30 for over 4 months now, it has just really started to sink in. Don't get me wrong, I don't think 30 is a bad thing, or that 30 is old or anything like that. I like my age, I just think that it is certainly different. I have started to notice little things that are making me feel like I am getting older, such as my body feeling tired more often and thinking that a fun night would be having a glass of wine and dinner by myself and then falling asleep on the couch with my cats. Hmmm...maybe I am just a cat lady.

i can't believe it

I am officially old. I went to a concert tonight, and I couldn't stop thinking that it was too loud. I was wishing for some earplugs, or that they would turn it down. How sad is that? Well, I guess at least I am not so old yet that I can't go out on a week night. There, I think I feel better now!

I never realized how smart you have to be to make pizza

Ok, so check out this LSAT logic games question:

Eight college students order a custom-made pizza; the pizza has eight slices with a single topping on each slice. The toppings are anchovies, black olives, Canadian Bacon, green olives, hamburger, onion, pepperoni and sausage. Each slice is of equal size, so four slices make exactly half the pizza; a slice is opposite the slice separated from it by three slices. The students are very picky about how their pizza is arranged, so they have set the following conditions:

• Each slice contains one topping, each topping is used exactly once.
• When counting from one slice to another, always move clockwise.
• The green olive slice must be adjacent to and clockwise from the pepperoni slice.
• The black olive slice is directly across from the anchovies slice.
• The anchovies slice cannot be adjacent to the Canadian bacon slice.
• The Canadian bacon slice can't be adjacent to the hamburger slice.
  

NOW THE QUESTIONS!

1.If the hamburger slice is directly opposite the green olive slice, then
which of the following slices CANNOT be adjacent to the pepperoni slice?

• Anchovies
• Black olives
• Canadian bacon
• Onion
• Sausage

2. If the Canadian bacon slice isn't adjacent to the black olive slice,
which two slices could be adjacent to the onion slice?

• Anchovies and sausage
• Canadian bacon and anchovies
• Canadian bacon and sausage
• Hamburger and black olives
• Sausage and black olives

3. Which one of the following could be a series of four adjacent
slices,moving clockwise?

• Anchovies, sausage, hamburger, black olives
• Black olives, Canadian bacon, hamburger, pepperoni
• Black olives, green olives, pepperoni, hamburger
• Hamburger, anchovies, Canadian bacon, sausage
• Onion, black olives, pepperoni, green olives

4. If the Canadian bacon slice is opposite the hamburger slice,
what is the minimum possible number of slices that could fit
between the hamburger slice and the black olive slice?

• Zero
• One
• Two
• Three
• Four

5. If the pepperoni slice is adjacent to the onion slice, which slice
must be adjacent to the anchovies slice?

• Black olives
• Canadian bacon
• Green olives
• Hamburger
• Sausage

6. If the black olives slice is between the pepperoni and Canadian
bacon, which two slices could be adjacent to the sausage slice?

• Anchovies and green olives
• Anchovies and pepperoni
• Canadian bacon and anchovies
• Canadian bacon and green olives
• Hamburger and onion

7. What is the minimum possible number of slices between the green
olives slice and the onion slice?

• Zero
• One
• Two
• Three
• Four

Ok, now that I feel ready to become an attorney and more than ready to eat a pizza, I will leave you solving this lovely game. I really don't think that anyone reads this blog, but if for some reason, someone does read it and wants the answers to this deliciously mind numbing question, let me know.

the boys...

Ok, so yes, I am sure this may be boring to some people, but I love it when my cats clean each other! I think it is adorable, mainly because they are both boys. Awww...sweet little guys.

disappointment all around

The last couple days have brought some disappointing news. One of my closest friends (a med student, well, soon to be Dr.) just got matched and she is moving to Connecticut. I am so happy for her, because I know it will be perfect for her, but selfishly, I wish she could stay here. I will miss her dearly.

Then today, I registered for classes for the fall, and picked one taught by my favorite Professor. Tonight in class I was telling her that we would be seeing each other again, when she looked at me in a sad way and told me that I would not have any classes with her since she is moving to North Carolina in August. I am so sad to lose her. She is the Professor who led me to the decision to go to law school.

Sometimes, it feels like everyone that touches my life in some way, is only around for a short time. I guess I should be happy and thankful that they were a part of my life.

here i go

Well, with my family completely on board and excited for me, I finally registered myself for the LSAT. I am so excited, yet nervous at the same time. What if I bomb it?? I mean, that would be very unlikely - at least I think it would. I am of course planning to do my best, and by my best, I mean do well enough to get into all of the law schools I am looking at, so I can chose exactly where I want to go.

Only time will tell, I suppose. I can't wait for my class that I am taking right now to end, so I can focus all of my energy this summer on studying for the LSAT and completing my law school applications. Wow, that sounds fun, doesn't it?! Don't worry, I am sure I will find some time to play a little golf here and there too. What would the summer be without it?

it's just my job

I am so mean, but being mean is my job. Today, I arrested a 73 year old lady, and then yelled at a 6 year old (at the request of his mother) about stealing. I told him that if he didn't stop stealing items from his classmates that I was going to come to his school, handcuff him in front of all of his friends and take him to juvenile detention. The 73 yr old and the 6 yr old both had tears welling up in their eyes by the time I was done, and I knew their emotions were directly related to my actions. All in a day's work!

they're here

My LSAT books arrived the other day. The good news is that everything I have read so far looks really interesting. I mean that seriously - I am genuinely interested in the LSAT questions. They don't bore me. The other news (wouldn't necessarily call it bad) is that they are long books and I am sure I have a lot to do!

I really want to focus all my energy on the LSAT and law school applications, however, I still have so much homework for the class I am taking. I guess I know what I will be doing this summer!

the first step

Ok, today I ordered all of the LSAT bibles that a friend of mine told me are essential to studying for the LSAT. It was almost $130. The money isn't really a concern. My concern is that the LSAT sounds pretty freaky. I really really want to get at least a 170, and it would really be wonderful if I could get higher than that, because I want to go to U of M Law. Time will tell. I must start studying my butt off!

frustration

Does frustration ever stop? Do we ever learn to deal with it, whether it comes from work, a friend or a lover? Is it better to learn to control your emotions - acting stoic and icy - pretending it's no bother? Or should you embrace it all, and verbalize the internal neurosis of the daily irritations caused by others. Saying things out loud, or even writing them down (especially when you know someone else can/will read them) is liberating. Is it worth the potential pain it could evoke? Should you silence your lips before the words escape? Which is the answer? Control your thoughts and emotions and internalize it all? Or, request the control from others? Will anyone ever really know which is better?

ever notice?

We all wait for someone, it could be someone known or unknown. Each of us, at any given moment, could be waiting for a phone call, waiting for someone to be available, physically, or even emotionally. We could be waiting for them to start the best part of our day, or it could just be the interruption that we long for. Sometimes the waiting brings eager anticipation, but that can end in tears. Reactions can be so unexpected. You think one thing will be said, but it isn't. You can't let go of the words... People don't know how their words, or lack thereof, hurt. They can't see your quivering lip over the computer. They can't look at your face and see the clear liquid staining your cheeks. There is no way to know that the abruptness, that quick end of a "conversation" has chiseled a small chip out of your heart.